The relationship between client and therapist is uniquely intimate and therefore, requires the client to have a great deal of trust in someone they don’t actually know. I suspect this is the main reason for some people not seeking therapy. It is a daunting prospect.
I, and many other therapists, offer a first mini session at no charge so that the client and therapist can meet or talk on the phone, and both can assess if there is enough comfort to proceed. At the very least, this introductory session gives you a sense of who your therapist is. During this “experiment” session it is important to talk openly about what you think the nature of your issues, and equally important for your prospective therapist to explain how he/she thinks you can get started, what to focus on in the early days of therapy and how things are likely to progress from there.
Asking yourself some of the following questions about your own expectations prior to this appointment will also facilitate making the most of this opportunity.
Questions About Therapy
1. How similar to me should my therapist be?
While most therapists are well schooled, experienced and are, therefore able to serve a variety of clients and client issues, there are also areas of specialty that do require expertise in a specific field. These most commonly are addictions, situations of repeated abuse (victim or abuser), and gender identity. If you are a person with any of these recovery or gender identity issues, you may well do best to look for a therapist with some certification in this area.
2. What should I expect when starting therapy?
Your first session will most likely begin with your therapist asking you why you’re there, and what you hope to accomplish in therapy. This will touch upon your issues, giving you an opportunity to observe how your therapist reacts to you and your issues. This allows you to take stock; gauge their reaction and get a sense of how they make you feel. Are you feeling that this person could understand you? By the end of this first session you will have discussed how to move forward in therapy. Sometimes, an issue is so clear that a rough sketch of a game plan for treatment comes to the surface in that first session. Many times, the actual and underlying issue emerges only after several sessions and may result in amending the initial plan for treatment. However this works out, I have found that keeping a focus on specific issues is of great help and keeps therapy moving forward.
3. I’m worried that I’ll be judged, what if my therapist thinks I’m a fool or stupid? How will I know if my therapist likes me?
Of course, there’s no way knowing this for certain, but most people who become therapists do so because they greatly care about the welfare of other people. Typically, therapists are compassionate people who are committed to helping people to heal from pain. This professional and humanitarian orientation do not lend themselves to being judgmental and critical. Most of the time, therapist’s like their client’s If, for no other reason, you’re their client! There will be a loyalty simply because you have given you’re therapist your trust. In this relationship, that just might be one of the most important things. Trust. You trusting your therapist, and even, your therapist trusting you.
4. How long will therapy last?
There is really no set time length for therapy. Some people just do better in life to almost always ‘be in therapy’, sometimes changing therapists after several years. But most people seem to do very well with short-term therapy usually lasting anywhere from a few months to two or more years. This is entirely up to the client. I have had many clients who take breaks from therapy, sometimes lasting a few years, but who return when things get complicated or their life changes they feel that therapy has helped.